Jun 2021
Survival of the fittest
written October 10th, 2020
Survival of the fittest.
What does that mean?
Fit for what?
Fit for keeping a multitude of shameful secrets?
Fit for being able to fill multiple mutually exclusive roles?
Fit for loving the ones who hurt you over and over?
Fit for hiding in plain sight?
So you survive
and you are so good at being invisible
that nobody can see you.
You love passionately
moments from the past
and books from the present.
You are a multitude
but none is complete
or known by the world.
You hold the secrets inside of you
until you are the only one
that remembers them.
None of these skills
help you
in the real world.
Sometimes the result
isn't survival of the fittest
but just survival of those that survive.
written October 10th, 2020
Survival of the fittest.
What does that mean?
Fit for what?
Fit for keeping a multitude of shameful secrets?
Fit for being able to fill multiple mutually exclusive roles?
Fit for loving the ones who hurt you over and over?
Fit for hiding in plain sight?
So you survive
and you are so good at being invisible
that nobody can see you.
You love passionately
moments from the past
and books from the present.
You are a multitude
but none is complete
or known by the world.
You hold the secrets inside of you
until you are the only one
that remembers them.
None of these skills
help you
in the real world.
Sometimes the result
isn't survival of the fittest
but just survival of those that survive.
I have written myself out of life for so long, and erased myself even from my own poems. Here is another one that has been sitting in my notebook for so long. I don't know if posting it brings some resolution, or if now I will just need to write this poem again. I have heard that healing is a spiral. Perhaps the next version of this poem, will be more complete.
