This room wreaks off stale smoke
As I take a drag off the 1000th one I smoked tonight, I can see the smoke lingering in the air
Just sitting all around me
Some manages to creep it's way outta the window
I glance out the window, the harsh cold wind hits my face
I'm looking down at the people  and the cars **** by
I walk away, why did I pick to live on the 14th floor of this apartment building?
Did I forget I was afraid of heights the day I signed the lease?

I sigh, smash the cigarette into the ashtray
Glance around, it doesn't even look like anyone lives here
Or at least that I live here
But, when she comes to visit, there's always a trial of destruction left behind
Empty whiskey bottles piled in the trash, half drank beers throughout the rooms
Pills scattered across the table, with rolled up 20$ bills and dust everywhere
I wipe my nose as it starts to trickle a little bit
Pull my hand away to find blood across the side of my hand
Then a painful sensation on my face
I race to the bathroom, put tissue on my nose and pinch
And then stare at myself wide eyed
She really did a number on me this time

A very black&blu;; eye stares back at me, with smaller bruises on my other cheek
What the hell happened here?
This wasn't my life anymore... How'd I get back here?
Suddenly I felt I could throw up right then and there
I gag a few times, shaking I grab the sink and splash cold water on my face, then cringe as my eye stings from the cold water
He must be here
She must have invited him
Too ****** up to remember the good life she was finally starting to have
I walk slowly down the hall, step and cry out in pain
Now there's blood on the floor, I close my eyes as I pull the glass from my foot
How in the hell did all this glass make it to my bedroom hallway?
I bend down and it's a combination of broken frames that got knocked off the wall and a smashed bottle of Jameson that must've been thrown at him but he'd shut the door too quick
Why did that ***** come back?
My hands shaking more now, I pick up up what's left of a picture of me and the one who truly cares
The one I've always looked for
Not him, who only she would allow to stay
I cover my mouth to hold back a scream
If I wake him up, I'll be in for a world of hurt
But, when I have to explain to the one in the picture what's happened here....
Well, I'll still be In a world of pain just a different kind
A worse kind, and the kind that's all my fault

I finally peek in my bedroom door and then shut it quickly, and slide to the floor crying
No longer able to hold it in
He lays sprawled across my bed, straws, pills, half a glass of whiskey on the night stand
I grab my hair and finally let out a gut wrenching scream
"Why do you come back here??" I scream violently at her
"My life was finally getting better, but that's always when you come around isn't it? Can't let me be happy! Oh no, that'd be a crime. ****** wouldn't it?!" I'm screaming so loud, my neighbors have probably called the cops
Doesn't matter, I'll be long gone by the time they get up here
And she'll just be laughing
Laughing, laughing because she got me again
And continues to prove I can't escape her
I take a breath and look in the mirror and her face smirks at me, then I see my banged up face again
And I realize... She is me
A dark, cold, destructive, broken hearted girl who lights fire and laughs as she burns
I yank the mirror and throw it clear across the living room
It hits the wall and SMASH!!! Shards of glass fly all around me
"Get out!" I shout "and take your ***** and your drugs with you, this is not my life anymore, I told you I was done!"
The wind blows in from the window and I swear it whispered "You're the one who called me."
"No, no it isn't true!" I'm coming undone at the seams now
I pick up the pills and throw them out the window, I rip the rolled up $20 bill in tiny shreds
I add these half drank beers layin around to the collection of whiskey bottles in the trash
I'm close to just taking a match to the apartment and going down in flames with it, everything's ruined anyway....

"Why the **** are you screaming and making so much ******* noise?!" He yelled while standing in the hall, making sure he avoided the glass from the bottle meant for his face last night
I'm frozen, my eyes locked on him can't let him make a single move and not be ready
"What the **** are you doing here? Don't you know SHE called you, not me?!" I glare at him wishing on everything he'd just vanish like the smoke had out the window
He smirks and shakes his head, mumbling what a crazy ***** I am
"No one but YOU called me!" His violent tone makes me flashback to the night before, when I pleaded for him to stop

This isn't gonna work
There's no coming back from this
Not this time, I've ******* up to the point of no return
Those cold eyes staring at me I never in my life wanted to see again
She would be the only one stupid enough to ever go back to him
To this wasteland she calls a life
The one from the shattered frame is just that
A shattered dream... And she took it from me
Well that's the last thing she takes
I'm winning the last round
He's been yelling at me now for at least 10 mins, I haven't heard a word but I sputter "I don't care"
Enraged he makes his way toward me
Eyes wide with fear but, realizing I only have one choice
I spin around, push the sliding glass door open and climb on the ledge of my balcony staring down so so far below me, the wind whipping my hair all around my face
I hear him call "what are you doing... Don't do..,"
But before he can finish his sentence, I close my eyes and jump

I scream so loud it wakes me from my sleep
I'm covered in sweat
My dog just stares at me, too frightened to move
There's a picture of me and the one who truly cares on my nightstand
Not a single crack
No pills, straws, whiskey bottles or broken glass
She's not here
It's just me in the dark, with a slight chilly breeze comin in through a cracked window
I lay back down and hold the covers tight
Shivering but I'm not cold
Fear just runs wild, and burning in my veins
She's not here, he's not here and there's no trail of destruction
In the window I see my reflection
No black&blu;; eye or face, no blood trickles from my nose
I light a cigarette and smile at the smell of stale cigarettes in the ashtray
It's never smelled so beautiful and I have never felt more free of her than I do at this moment
Cause in that moment I realize I am me
I used to know her, but she's from the past and she doesn't know where I live anymore
I smash my cigarette into the ashtray and smile as some of it creeps out my window