I suppose maybe I should sleep,
To rid of these crazy thoughts.
Maybe I should take a shower,
Paint my fingernails a summery color,
Run myself a nice warm bath and light a scented candle,
Pick up a pencil and sketch my surroundings,
Dial my lovers digits and have a meaningful talk,
Read my favorite book for the 213th time,
Put on my glasses and count every sparkling star shining bright,
Perhaps I should even name those stars,
Maybe I should bake some cookies,
Maybe I should do something I absolutely adore doing.
Yes, I suppose I should.
But the one thing that tops all of those things and wins every time,
Is the one thing I shouldn't do.
Something I don't love to do.
I pick up the gun,
Silence myself by wrapping my swollen lips around the tip,
My finger barely slips,
And the wall behind me is stained crimson red.