Here I find myself again
scribbling the thoughts within my head
spewing words so I can breathe
to aliviate the strain on my throat
from swallowing screams whole

Again I'm imprisoned in me,
in someone else
In everyone
Everywhere

I forgot how to be

I just function by automation alone
a glitched, bugged program barely justifying its reason to exist
holding tight to the line of code for my sanity
I've been written,
programmed,
conditioned by others

For others

And what about me?
Where did I put myself?
Left last to not annoy with my problems
procrastinating on my own well being

Where am I?

At the bottom of the ***** laundry I failed to take to the basket
Under the bed I neglected to sleep on while insomnia payed a much anticipated visit
Stuck on the sides of the bowl of soup I didn't have the appetite to eat
In the last place I'd look because I'm so sure that's not where I left it

Yet here I find myself again
Broken
Lost
Distracted by the mere thought of living one more day
A day I will not focus on, as I waste away