May 2021
Sins fill the air with temptations lust as it brushes against us all from the dust within the wind
Whispers go unnoticed by some why others are not quite as blessed to be able to not give in
Different upbringings, past situations, multiple variables all could be to name or blame
However the measure we all at some point realize we can change and rearrange ourself
Prayers answered for those who find the call sooner than later, better late than never though
Times hands forever moving in a direction that works equally against us all and our efforts
Face the demons, find the answers and break free from past patterns and catch time
For if you don’t it’s a guarantee eventually it’ll catch you wether you are ready or not to go
We can look at ourselves as we project or we can project the reflection we want to look at
When love for self is achieved the soul is relieved and all else slowly falls into place naturally
Morals are raised, values are introduced, faith is praised as we become our best self
I used to envy others that were born to a life with a strong foundation and support
That was before I could realize the beauty in pain and the strength in myself to change
Never ever will I take mental health for granted nor a good moral compass leading the way
Every battle, every fight, every obstacle I have overcome a true victory in my journey of life
I have learned you can’t earn the reward if the effort behind the sword isn’t genuine desire
I tried before to win the war but slowly realized you cannot conquer all the demons at once
Little by little with each battle I pick apart one flaw at a time hoping to become a better man
Childhood trauma is still known but no longer present bitterly blinding my faiths eyes
My past relationships all on good terms my mother and step-dad forever forgiven
Slowly building & strengthening our entire families wealth with unconditional love
Something I’m realizing I have been missing and enjoy dearly to be able to be a part of
Faith forever missing with periodic acquaintances here and there throughout 31 years
Never to long to make a difference but moving forward I must be more committed
This coming Sunday will mark the first day that my son and I will try a new church of God
With hopes it will be a good fit based on other friends that currently go and invited us
However if not then we will keep trying other ones until we can call one our home too
The final straw among all of the calls I will try to defeat I think will be easier with faith
To break free from the chains of alcohol and although I have slowed down a little bit
I realize it’s had such a bad impact on my decisions from the past that I’m resentful to it
I’m hoping through my journey of faith it will help defend my choice to not cave in
Goals are made, plans in place, options outweighed so these changes can last
A smile on my face, a confident spirit, a cleared mind and hopeful heart I remain
For these changes and battles are not just for myself but also my loved ones and future love
My desire for a relationship is way more important than to remain the same guy I am
My sole motivation as I cannot stand to be alone but not because I’m not happy
But rather I want to express the love I have to offer by providing someone else with happiness
Nothing will be forced nor will be sought until I have overcame all my weaknesses
Every-time I have the urge to drink rather than give in I will reply with a new inked poem
Every-time the wind of sin brushes my skin I will not listen but rather write what I stand for
For I know what I desire and the fire from within has never been burning so hot with passion
By accomplishing these two flaws it will naturally call to my third and last imperfection
My ability to forget about the better for others when instant gratification calls out my name
This is a tough battle because I know I am a good father and my son never goes without
However a better life I could provide for him and be a better example for him to witness
These aren’t easy adjustments to have to notice when you care so much about self image
These are not easy talks to have with yourself but most definitely necessary to grow
Others looking in might think how can someone be so messed up and lost in life
I said the same thing to myself for the last 20 years as I tried to hide a guy I wasn’t proud of
There are without a doubt others to that I feel for knowing how hard these changes are
You all as my witness I will prove it can be done giving all others hope from a bad
CHILDHOOD
Whispers go unnoticed by some why others are not quite as blessed to be able to not give in
Different upbringings, past situations, multiple variables all could be to name or blame
However the measure we all at some point realize we can change and rearrange ourself
Prayers answered for those who find the call sooner than later, better late than never though
Times hands forever moving in a direction that works equally against us all and our efforts
Face the demons, find the answers and break free from past patterns and catch time
For if you don’t it’s a guarantee eventually it’ll catch you wether you are ready or not to go
We can look at ourselves as we project or we can project the reflection we want to look at
When love for self is achieved the soul is relieved and all else slowly falls into place naturally
Morals are raised, values are introduced, faith is praised as we become our best self
I used to envy others that were born to a life with a strong foundation and support
That was before I could realize the beauty in pain and the strength in myself to change
Never ever will I take mental health for granted nor a good moral compass leading the way
Every battle, every fight, every obstacle I have overcome a true victory in my journey of life
I have learned you can’t earn the reward if the effort behind the sword isn’t genuine desire
I tried before to win the war but slowly realized you cannot conquer all the demons at once
Little by little with each battle I pick apart one flaw at a time hoping to become a better man
Childhood trauma is still known but no longer present bitterly blinding my faiths eyes
My past relationships all on good terms my mother and step-dad forever forgiven
Slowly building & strengthening our entire families wealth with unconditional love
Something I’m realizing I have been missing and enjoy dearly to be able to be a part of
Faith forever missing with periodic acquaintances here and there throughout 31 years
Never to long to make a difference but moving forward I must be more committed
This coming Sunday will mark the first day that my son and I will try a new church of God
With hopes it will be a good fit based on other friends that currently go and invited us
However if not then we will keep trying other ones until we can call one our home too
The final straw among all of the calls I will try to defeat I think will be easier with faith
To break free from the chains of alcohol and although I have slowed down a little bit
I realize it’s had such a bad impact on my decisions from the past that I’m resentful to it
I’m hoping through my journey of faith it will help defend my choice to not cave in
Goals are made, plans in place, options outweighed so these changes can last
A smile on my face, a confident spirit, a cleared mind and hopeful heart I remain
For these changes and battles are not just for myself but also my loved ones and future love
My desire for a relationship is way more important than to remain the same guy I am
My sole motivation as I cannot stand to be alone but not because I’m not happy
But rather I want to express the love I have to offer by providing someone else with happiness
Nothing will be forced nor will be sought until I have overcame all my weaknesses
Every-time I have the urge to drink rather than give in I will reply with a new inked poem
Every-time the wind of sin brushes my skin I will not listen but rather write what I stand for
For I know what I desire and the fire from within has never been burning so hot with passion
By accomplishing these two flaws it will naturally call to my third and last imperfection
My ability to forget about the better for others when instant gratification calls out my name
This is a tough battle because I know I am a good father and my son never goes without
However a better life I could provide for him and be a better example for him to witness
These aren’t easy adjustments to have to notice when you care so much about self image
These are not easy talks to have with yourself but most definitely necessary to grow
Others looking in might think how can someone be so messed up and lost in life
I said the same thing to myself for the last 20 years as I tried to hide a guy I wasn’t proud of
There are without a doubt others to that I feel for knowing how hard these changes are
You all as my witness I will prove it can be done giving all others hope from a bad
CHILDHOOD
