I've been thinking about my connection to drugs. I've thought about why I've struggled my whole life...to feel utterly powerless.
Sometimes
I'm so lonely.
I don't even think lonely is the right answer.
Empty.
Void.
Abyss.
Jaded.
I don't know.
It swallows me into this vortex and it pushes everyone I love away. It made my boyfriend whom I love leave me.  Like always. Not new.
I'm done. I have to fight. It's that or die.
I don't want to die...
Please. I don't.
Sometimes I wish I was never born.
It hurts so much.