I am self destructive.
I am abusing the body I occupy and yet I am guilty of it.
I throw myself into the abyss at any inconvenience,
Consume liquor until the rooms spins,
Inhale smoke until my lungs are black,
Until I ache from throwing up,
Until I'm sobbing so hard my eyes swell.
I love the thrill of the pain and yet,
I yearn to be away from it.
I am yet again drowning in the undertow,
With only myself to blame.
Dragged to the depths of self mutilation,
I only have the ***** and cigarettes for comfort.
How ******* poetic of me.