told myself today would be the day
my last breath or a miracle of god
i didn't have any answers
just know the pain needed to stop

never wrote it down
but i thought about it everyday for months
now i sit here waiting for a sign
unsure if i should take the jump

my mental calendar is cleared
but the stipulations are weighing me down
i never wanted to hurt anybody yet its the little things
like the idea of my mom finding out

well maybe not so little
maybe not so dire
but if i said that i'll be fine
i'll be just another liar

today was gonna be the day
but i just can't do it
i'm scared for a plethora of reasons
but i guess i'll get used to it