Lord I come to you to speak boldly about my current situation...I am conflicted and perplexed in how deeply I have broken my self into a futile infantile parasite I sadly realize I am. I am frustrated and saddened that my drug addiction keeps me at edge between that my ADHD Schizophrenia and Night Terrors I have meet my match. At the current moment facing eviction, homelessness, and pervasive persistent negative attitude I have acquired over the years of someone else always doing for me what I ought to do for my ******* self. I don't exercise much...quite a homebody/couch-potato/slob I have become. I am lazy, irresponsible, messy, poor hygiene at times I have practiced...cuss like a sailor, negligent, indifferent, stuck in a maladaptive lifestyle that as time ticks on the problems grow bigger and bigger...I use drugs to wear the mask of "Normalcy" & "Success" yet I know am lying to my **** self every time I cover up my TRUE identity hidden from the public deep within layers of a tormented and vindictive past. Contemplating onto making and forming a solid decision to go get myself some help from a rehabilitation facility but that is all too familiar and don't guarantee my success into beating my addiction and arresting my inner deep and personal struggles I wrestle with on the daily...to my Lord is The Christ,who came and was and is and will forever stand as being the identical incarnation of the father image, conduct and become nothing...being subsurvient to the fathers will becoming a man of excellency of character, inpeccable radiance, unsurpasable  holiness, being made into an anoited vessel heal the sick, show the lost a way to redeem the gift of eternal life, love us as we were desperately drownding and needing of a savior the Son Of Man, The Christ, Apointed to fulfill Scripture, Selfless, Holy, Perfect... God's Only Begotten Son the primordial Creation who all things were made for him, thru him by him. Jesus Christ the One who came to fulfill the Law be born blameless, holy and perfect. He allowed Judas Iscariot be influenced by the Devil and be blinded by alluring him with the promise of payment. In the last supper Jesus Christ mentioned to the 12 the one who dips with me this piece of bread into this morsel will be the one to betray me and turn me in to the authorities as a blasphemer. Then Judas Iscariot at that moment the Devil entered Judas in that same instant he extends his left hand and dips his bread along with Jesus. Then the 11 remaining look into Jesus and Judas...at that very moment he dismissed Judas Telling him...something along this lines...Do it and do it quickly giving permission for him to be handed to authorities... Judas left and came back with soldiers then turned to Jesus kissed him with the kiss of death on the side of his face. With that the Soldiers singled out Jesus out of the 12. Took him to be interrogated with Herodias yet he found no fault in Jesus. Next day took him to The Chief Of The Pharasies. The Magistrate spat on Jesus for saying " He was who they claiming" immediately several Pharasies including the Magistrate's tore their clothing and yelled loudly ... "Blasphemer" & The Lord remained quiet then right away after enduring being flogged, humiliated, tortured till being taken to Poncious Pilate. There my Lord sustained an extreme amount of horrifying torture. Naturally the Devil influeced the croud to pick the murderous Barrabas to be liberated and the Christ to be handed over to suffer crucifixion. In the tragic end he died hanging on that old rugged cross. Nevertheless, 3 days later was glorified, the first among the dead to be ressurrected. Tranfiguration for Christ wasn't yet complete. The prophets remained accompanying the Lord till they saw him return to heaven. May the Father,Son and Holy Ghost Reign Forevermore Amen!!!