Mar 2021
Dear Mr. Prince,
(Charming or otherwise)
If you're standing here reading this,
chances are you're on the verge
of kissing and waking me up
yet again.
So before you go ahead
******* with my beauty sleep,
a couple things I wanted to clarify:
Firstly
this is NOT a rescue mission.
I know how much you want it to be,
I know how happy it made you last time,
I know I should've mentioned it before,
I know, I know, I know
I'm sorry, okay.
I'm a *****, sometimes.
But You
so caught up playing the hero,
lost in the delusion
of your secondhand-savior tale,
you didn't even notice
that I was just
resting.
I'm sorry I hadn't the heart
(nor the *****)
to pull you
off your metaphorical stallion
down to reality.
The truth is, Mr. Prince,
I just needed a ******* break.
From the house, the chores,
the dwarfs, the nagging,
the expectations,
the ******* mosquitoes,
all of it.
A word to the village Shaman
for some Oblivion-Spa potion
did the trick.
And of course,
the next thing you know
she's being hunted
by the entire ******* kingdom
as the evil old witch
who poisoned the sweet, pure,
young maiden.
Well thank ****
I stocked up
before she skipped town.
Not that she can ever be found
if she doesn't want to.
Secondly
and perhaps more importantly,
I'd also like to apologize
for not mentioning before
(also for lack of heart)
((and *****))
that I'm REALLY NOT into ****.
(((and *****)))
Nothing personal,
I'm sure you're a swell guy
(when you're not playing hero)
but really,
you're barking up the wrong tree.
Please find another tree.
(There are lots of other trees)
Thank you for understanding.
P.S.: If you're tempted to get naughty with my body
while my consciousness dissolves relaxingly into the void, you should know that my friend Gladys, the 800-pound brown bear who lives a few trees down, is up from hibernating and would be more than GLAD to see you off with a hefty dose of adrenaline, or more...
P.S.2: Dear Princesses,
(Women)
Please disregard ALL the above
and come say hi!
A soft kiss on the lips
is enough to bring me back
from dimensionless rest,
but if you don't believe me
and feel the need to try
something a bit more
drastic
who am I to hold it
against you?
;)
(Charming or otherwise)
If you're standing here reading this,
chances are you're on the verge
of kissing and waking me up
yet again.
So before you go ahead
******* with my beauty sleep,
a couple things I wanted to clarify:
Firstly
this is NOT a rescue mission.
I know how much you want it to be,
I know how happy it made you last time,
I know I should've mentioned it before,
I know, I know, I know
I'm sorry, okay.
I'm a *****, sometimes.
But You
so caught up playing the hero,
lost in the delusion
of your secondhand-savior tale,
you didn't even notice
that I was just
resting.
I'm sorry I hadn't the heart
(nor the *****)
to pull you
off your metaphorical stallion
down to reality.
The truth is, Mr. Prince,
I just needed a ******* break.
From the house, the chores,
the dwarfs, the nagging,
the expectations,
the ******* mosquitoes,
all of it.
A word to the village Shaman
for some Oblivion-Spa potion
did the trick.
And of course,
the next thing you know
she's being hunted
by the entire ******* kingdom
as the evil old witch
who poisoned the sweet, pure,
young maiden.
Well thank ****
I stocked up
before she skipped town.
Not that she can ever be found
if she doesn't want to.
Secondly
and perhaps more importantly,
I'd also like to apologize
for not mentioning before
(also for lack of heart)
((and *****))
that I'm REALLY NOT into ****.
(((and *****)))
Nothing personal,
I'm sure you're a swell guy
(when you're not playing hero)
but really,
you're barking up the wrong tree.
Please find another tree.
(There are lots of other trees)
Thank you for understanding.
P.S.: If you're tempted to get naughty with my body
while my consciousness dissolves relaxingly into the void, you should know that my friend Gladys, the 800-pound brown bear who lives a few trees down, is up from hibernating and would be more than GLAD to see you off with a hefty dose of adrenaline, or more...
P.S.2: Dear Princesses,
(Women)
Please disregard ALL the above
and come say hi!
A soft kiss on the lips
is enough to bring me back
from dimensionless rest,
but if you don't believe me
and feel the need to try
something a bit more
drastic
who am I to hold it
against you?
;)
Lesbian Snow White had a thing or two to get off her mind before falling (back) into blissful slumber...
