Why do I always feel betrayal by those I choose to love. Why must everyone lie to me. Why can I roll my car the way I did and survive. I want to ******* die. Am I already dead and in hell, is this my hell to keep trying n then fail time after time. Well **** that. I'm done trying. I give up. I'm just going to exist. I'd stop existing  except I fail at that every time I've tried.