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Mar 2021
I wish emotions didn't exist. That way I'd never have to feel.
It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take so long to heal.
I feel like I'm the last thing on anybodys mind quite last resort.
Even when I speak with family. They always keep it short.
I try not to let it phase me. But I can't help but wonder why.
Sometimes I think that I'd only be missed if I was to die.
Some would say that is a lie but I know that I'm not wrong.
Nobody ever checks on me. So how's that different from being gone.
I try to keep my thoughts to myself but I wear my heart on my sleeve.
So when I feel like I'm unwanted I just pack my things and leave.
If I don't have something somebody wants, then they never call.
But the second I come of use they're my friends after all.
The girl I love might love me back but I can't seem to believe its true.
So I push her away so far that if i was her I'd leave me to.
I hurt my own feelings because I don't want to give her the opportunity.
To do the same thing as my past girlfriends used to do to me.
I try to let it go and pretend I'm not upset.
I know that she will go. Thats something I regret.
I love her but I don't want to. I don't want her to hate me.
But thats what's going to happen the way things have been going lately.
Written by
Prince Allival  27/Transgender/Manila
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