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Mar 2021
Dear God,
I really  have no one else to talk to.  You know. I am alone.
I am alone.
No one wants me to be sad.
They have their own sadness.
I need more than a bandaid of offhand epithets.
I can't seem to take care of myself like I used to do.
And I am guilty of using opportunity to build myself up.
I'm losing my beauty.
And I'm afraid I'm losing my inner beauty too.
All I have now is determination to serve the ones you've given me.
And I'm failing them.
I'm failing me.
I need you to rescue me!
I don't know what to do.
People tell me to find a hobby.
A hobby?
My life is not a hobby.
My life is a mess.
I need help.
I don't want to fail.
It's all tricks and mirrors these days
Convincing others and myself I'm "okay"
But I'm far, far away from "okay"
I don't know what to do
I keep trying to escape from my suffering
My escapes are ruining my way out
I'm in pain God.
Gina used to rescue me and she's hiding.
I can't find her
She's lost in the tunnel that leads out of this life.
If I find her I'm afraid I will die.
Will I die?
Please don't let me die.
There must be a way to find her and bring her back to life.
Maybe she just fell asleep?
Is she in a coma?
What do I do?
Her dreams are stuck on the wrong side of the rainbow.
And she won't wake up.
Written by
Gina  55/F/Florida
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