Mar 2021
Hey Bubba,'
You have no idea how many times you’ve saved me from myself
How many times I was so close to ending it all
But then I stopped and thought about the pain it would cause you if I actually did do that
We met almost a year and a half ago but it feels like I’ve known you for forever
I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have you in my life
You and I have been through too much together
(Even you having a friend who’s obsessed with me)
I love how I’m the one you come to if something is bothering you
I’m always there for you if you ever need to vent
You’re always there for me if I need to vent
I love how you have always been there for me when no one else was
You have no idea how much i appreciate you
You were the one who put me back together every time I got hurt
You’re the reason, for almost a year and a half, that I never ended it all
You’re the reason I keep fighting
I don’t want to remember a time when you weren’t there
Your the one who made me realize not everyone is trying to hurt me
I love you so so much and I don’t have all the words to really say how much you mean to me
You’re the only one i’ve gotten so attached to
I can’t figure out why
There is some sort of pull that you have that seems to keep pulling me in
Life isn’t the same with you
I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life
Because you have made my life so much better
And if I’m being 100% honest you’re the only one I can see myself having a future with
You’re the only one I wanna have a future with
I want so badly to no longer wake up to a text from you
But to be apple to roll over in bed and see you every morning
I want you to feel comfortable coming to me to vent out your issues
You’re the only one I wanna be with
I wake up everyday and you’re always my first thought
I always wonder if today’s gonna be the day I finally get you back
Everytime we talk I always get these butterflies that no one else has managed to give me
When I get you back imma make sure i keep you for a hell of a lot longer than 3 weeks
I just wanna say I’ve been annoying my friends
Because I never shut up about you
I’m always showing you off even though you aren’t mine
All I want is to be the reason that you fall asleep each night with your phone held in your hand. Whenever I am texting you, you can safely assume that I am smiling.
The very thought of you lights up my outlook and makes everything seem so much brighter
Each time that I hear your voice, my heart skips a beat.
I trip and fall from the distraction of seeing your face all of a sudden.
You cause my world to stop and are the source of all the best feelings and sensations that I have never felt
Yes I may have had friends go off on you for not being a good friend as they put it
But that doesn’t change the fact that you are still my best friend
You’re still my ride or die
Have you ever loved someone so much that when you see them with someone else it just breaks your heart?
My heart breaks slowly more and more every time you start talking about your relationship
Because I long to have that again
I miss being called baby
I miss all of the late night phone calls
I miss being able to call you mine
You may have made a pinky promise
But it feels like that’s gonna be a forever away
Like it’s never gonna happen
I just miss being happy
I was happy with you
You are my yellow
It’s as Princess Diana says
“If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love.”
I try to hang on but it feels like every day you try to cut it off like it’s a string
I don’t wanna lose you again
I made the promise that you would never lose me again
I intend to keep that promise but i feel like I’m gonna lose you again
You are the only reason that I’ve kept myself alive so long
You are what has kept me sane for the past year and a half
Ya know I’m glad that my suicide attempt didn’t work
If it did we would’ve never met each other
It would’ve been four years in December
I’m glad I didn’t **** myself
In a way, you’re the peep to my emma
We may not be together right now
But they weren’t always together
They were off and on a lot
I don’t know I just feel like I’m rambling on at this point
I’m jumping around the main point of what this letter is supposed to say
I guess what I’m trying to say is
I’m in love with you
I don’t know how to deal with that
So if I ever start to get distant
Don’t let me do that
I struggle with the thought of losing you
It’s becoming an everyday thing
I don’t know what to do
The kids already seem to like you more than me
There’s no guarantee that we will end up having a future together
But that has never stopped us from planning that out
Hell, we’ve talked about having kids together
That’s a forever away and we’ve already started planning that
I love that our conversations have no boundaries
Regardless of whether or not we’re in a relationship
We talk about anything we want
From cemetery to Christmas lights
Our conversations are never boring
You’re the only person I can have conversations with like that
I don’t know what I would do without you bubba
I love how we always know what’s wrong with the other person
I love how we have that type of connection
I hope I never lose that with you
I want you to be my forever
Anyways
I love you *****
You have no idea how many times you’ve saved me from myself
How many times I was so close to ending it all
But then I stopped and thought about the pain it would cause you if I actually did do that
We met almost a year and a half ago but it feels like I’ve known you for forever
I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have you in my life
You and I have been through too much together
(Even you having a friend who’s obsessed with me)
I love how I’m the one you come to if something is bothering you
I’m always there for you if you ever need to vent
You’re always there for me if I need to vent
I love how you have always been there for me when no one else was
You have no idea how much i appreciate you
You were the one who put me back together every time I got hurt
You’re the reason, for almost a year and a half, that I never ended it all
You’re the reason I keep fighting
I don’t want to remember a time when you weren’t there
Your the one who made me realize not everyone is trying to hurt me
I love you so so much and I don’t have all the words to really say how much you mean to me
You’re the only one i’ve gotten so attached to
I can’t figure out why
There is some sort of pull that you have that seems to keep pulling me in
Life isn’t the same with you
I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life
Because you have made my life so much better
And if I’m being 100% honest you’re the only one I can see myself having a future with
You’re the only one I wanna have a future with
I want so badly to no longer wake up to a text from you
But to be apple to roll over in bed and see you every morning
I want you to feel comfortable coming to me to vent out your issues
You’re the only one I wanna be with
I wake up everyday and you’re always my first thought
I always wonder if today’s gonna be the day I finally get you back
Everytime we talk I always get these butterflies that no one else has managed to give me
When I get you back imma make sure i keep you for a hell of a lot longer than 3 weeks
I just wanna say I’ve been annoying my friends
Because I never shut up about you
I’m always showing you off even though you aren’t mine
All I want is to be the reason that you fall asleep each night with your phone held in your hand. Whenever I am texting you, you can safely assume that I am smiling.
The very thought of you lights up my outlook and makes everything seem so much brighter
Each time that I hear your voice, my heart skips a beat.
I trip and fall from the distraction of seeing your face all of a sudden.
You cause my world to stop and are the source of all the best feelings and sensations that I have never felt
Yes I may have had friends go off on you for not being a good friend as they put it
But that doesn’t change the fact that you are still my best friend
You’re still my ride or die
Have you ever loved someone so much that when you see them with someone else it just breaks your heart?
My heart breaks slowly more and more every time you start talking about your relationship
Because I long to have that again
I miss being called baby
I miss all of the late night phone calls
I miss being able to call you mine
You may have made a pinky promise
But it feels like that’s gonna be a forever away
Like it’s never gonna happen
I just miss being happy
I was happy with you
You are my yellow
It’s as Princess Diana says
“If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love.”
I try to hang on but it feels like every day you try to cut it off like it’s a string
I don’t wanna lose you again
I made the promise that you would never lose me again
I intend to keep that promise but i feel like I’m gonna lose you again
You are the only reason that I’ve kept myself alive so long
You are what has kept me sane for the past year and a half
Ya know I’m glad that my suicide attempt didn’t work
If it did we would’ve never met each other
It would’ve been four years in December
I’m glad I didn’t **** myself
In a way, you’re the peep to my emma
We may not be together right now
But they weren’t always together
They were off and on a lot
I don’t know I just feel like I’m rambling on at this point
I’m jumping around the main point of what this letter is supposed to say
I guess what I’m trying to say is
I’m in love with you
I don’t know how to deal with that
So if I ever start to get distant
Don’t let me do that
I struggle with the thought of losing you
It’s becoming an everyday thing
I don’t know what to do
The kids already seem to like you more than me
There’s no guarantee that we will end up having a future together
But that has never stopped us from planning that out
Hell, we’ve talked about having kids together
That’s a forever away and we’ve already started planning that
I love that our conversations have no boundaries
Regardless of whether or not we’re in a relationship
We talk about anything we want
From cemetery to Christmas lights
Our conversations are never boring
You’re the only person I can have conversations with like that
I don’t know what I would do without you bubba
I love how we always know what’s wrong with the other person
I love how we have that type of connection
I hope I never lose that with you
I want you to be my forever
Anyways
I love you *****
