Jul 2013
Do you remember?
Do you remember, the day you came over to Sh-'s house?
I was staying over at her house, and I had given you a note that Friday,
explaining about my anxiety and how I live in constant fear of rejection
and being left. You warned us you were coming over, and we did our make up
in a few minutes, not wanting to be seen without. (not that I really put a lot on)
You came over, and we sat on her driveway and talked about everything and nothing,
like always. You were laying on your stomach and Sh- had her legs crossed, feet resting on your
****, and you had your head in my lap, and you two were talking, and I was running my fingers
through your hair, like always and you would shift slightly every now and then to give me better access.
We were eating Lemon Heads, passing them around, one of the five boxes you bought me for my birthday, along with that two liter of Mountain Dew.
Then we were standing up because Sh- mom was saying that you should go, that we would be eating dinner, and you stayed for a while longer, constantly hugging me and I thought that maybe you were nervous and I couldn't figure out why. Then you were hugging me again, my back pressed against Sh-'s mom's Honda van and then you leaned back slightly and suddenly your lips were moving softly and gently against mine, and I was startled and ecstatic and elated and exhilarated and so, so happy, but then too quickly, it was over, and distantly I could hear Sh- shouting "OH GOD, ARE YOU KISSING?!" And you mumbled "What, no." I was still stunned, but I laughed at Sh-, constantly trying to get us to kiss, but grossed out when it happened. I pulled you in for a tight hug, trying to say thank you.
Do you remember, the day you came over to Sh-'s house?
I was staying over at her house, and I had given you a note that Friday,
explaining about my anxiety and how I live in constant fear of rejection
and being left. You warned us you were coming over, and we did our make up
in a few minutes, not wanting to be seen without. (not that I really put a lot on)
You came over, and we sat on her driveway and talked about everything and nothing,
like always. You were laying on your stomach and Sh- had her legs crossed, feet resting on your
****, and you had your head in my lap, and you two were talking, and I was running my fingers
through your hair, like always and you would shift slightly every now and then to give me better access.
We were eating Lemon Heads, passing them around, one of the five boxes you bought me for my birthday, along with that two liter of Mountain Dew.
Then we were standing up because Sh- mom was saying that you should go, that we would be eating dinner, and you stayed for a while longer, constantly hugging me and I thought that maybe you were nervous and I couldn't figure out why. Then you were hugging me again, my back pressed against Sh-'s mom's Honda van and then you leaned back slightly and suddenly your lips were moving softly and gently against mine, and I was startled and ecstatic and elated and exhilarated and so, so happy, but then too quickly, it was over, and distantly I could hear Sh- shouting "OH GOD, ARE YOU KISSING?!" And you mumbled "What, no." I was still stunned, but I laughed at Sh-, constantly trying to get us to kiss, but grossed out when it happened. I pulled you in for a tight hug, trying to say thank you.
