if i had
a big red rubber ball
i think i'd be happy.
i think i could
smile.
i could walk down the sidewalk,
and bounce it
and try not to think about
my little brothers' and sisters' faces
try not to think how
little jesse would
love a
big
red
rubber
ball
or how miriam would
try to stand on it
or how john would
kick it as far as he could
or how elayna would
paint it
mid-
air

if i had a big red rubber ball
i could be happy
for a couple of seconds
until i started to
think
...but maybe those seconds
would be
worth it...
if you love me
give it to me
but then
take it away