Sep 2021
my fingers ache with a desire to create
explore the colors of my mind
i beg for it to come freely
but i always end up searching
carving away at the layers
like a caver, trying to see what beauty
could be hidden underneath
the worthlessness and despair
for once i realize i could be something
i no longer am nothing
and i spill from my mouth,
my eyes bloom,
i see what could be and
it feels close enough to touch
all i must do
is reach a little further
i have never felt as warm
as when i am writing
and i have never felt as cold
as when i am done
i pour my heart out into
these virtual pages
and it's nice to see
what i have created
but god, do i feel empty after
explore the colors of my mind
i beg for it to come freely
but i always end up searching
carving away at the layers
like a caver, trying to see what beauty
could be hidden underneath
the worthlessness and despair
for once i realize i could be something
i no longer am nothing
and i spill from my mouth,
my eyes bloom,
i see what could be and
it feels close enough to touch
all i must do
is reach a little further
i have never felt as warm
as when i am writing
and i have never felt as cold
as when i am done
i pour my heart out into
these virtual pages
and it's nice to see
what i have created
but god, do i feel empty after
oldish poem (few months) that i just updated a lil. i hate making titles
over the summer i tried to write some poetry when i was feeling especially depressed
it's nice to get my feelings out and also i liked being able to look back on particularly rough moments
but i found a lot of the time i'd feel empty beforehand, it was an Unknown Emptiness... and once i wrote the poetry, i still felt the same emptiness but now I Knew to an extent WHY i was feeling so empty... and somehow, the knowledge was worse
i'm so young and i have so many incredible opportunities. it's absurd i feel so lost. but i am floating aimlessly...
i don't know. i love to ramble.
got a big *** lump in my throat right now lol. i think i need a therapist
over the summer i tried to write some poetry when i was feeling especially depressed
it's nice to get my feelings out and also i liked being able to look back on particularly rough moments
but i found a lot of the time i'd feel empty beforehand, it was an Unknown Emptiness... and once i wrote the poetry, i still felt the same emptiness but now I Knew to an extent WHY i was feeling so empty... and somehow, the knowledge was worse
i'm so young and i have so many incredible opportunities. it's absurd i feel so lost. but i am floating aimlessly...
i don't know. i love to ramble.
got a big *** lump in my throat right now lol. i think i need a therapist
