I have felt exquisite wonder
And I have felt devastating lose.
I have been wrapped in the softest love.
And cut by the sharpest regret.
My life has been a lifetime movie gone wrong.
But also a Hallmark movie gone so right.
My skin has been blistered by abuse,
And it has been soothed by honeyed lips.

I have been overwhelmed with heartache,
But I've been overwhelmed with elation too.
I spent long periods of my adolescents and early 20s
Retreating to the dark,
Hopeless,
Desperate to disappear.
Believing I was Noone
Convinced I'd never be anyone.

I have been so beaten by despair,
Left battered, and bruised.
Untethered from my life,
Shrouded in worthlessness.
And I have felt so elevated with purpose,
Lifted battered and bruised back onto my feet.
With resolve so strong
I've  felt it in my bones.
Illuminated with determination.

Every time I swore I couldn't get up again,
I did.
Every time I feared this was the one that did me in,
It wasn't.
Every dark corner I never thought I'd find my way out of,
I found my way to the light.
Everything meant to destroy me,
Also created me.

Each destruction a platform for my rebirth.
A place to rise from the ashes.
A stepping stone that said:
"I've been here. It's time to move on."

My life has been a constant Flux between
Horrendous and wonderous.
On a pendulum gage swinging back and forth.
And in the end,
I'm thankful for all I've learned from it,
And the strength I've achieved because of it.