Do you ever wish
To simply not exist?

Because it's not the void after death I fear,
It's being a spectator watching everyone's lives go by when I die

I wanna end it all
But the thought of failing scares me,
adding more scars to my repertoire
for everyone to continue to mock
or to leave myself even more of a mess than I was before

But staying is hard too,
Meaningless days blurring into the next
That empty feeling replacing sadness and joy alike
Abuse and neglect creating a crown of thorns upon my head

Newton's First Law: people in motion stay in motion, it's just sometimes easier that way
Every day I'm just waiting for my unbalanced force