this sunrise
i smile but,
not sure
for how long?

does it end
when the birds
stop singing
their song?

i've never lived
"happily ever
after" even
for a day.

my mind loses
happy ever
after like a needle in
the hay.

i love to
be happy and
i really love to
smile.

but my mind
tells me
it hurts;
"you can only
smile for a
little while".

as daylight
expires i long
for a grin.

as night fall
takes root-
keep my
smile away
from the
winds.

i'm not some
kind of
monster-
i'm not a
miserable man.

i'm merely
just a man
that some-
may never
understand.

but please
know this-
some days
i even can't.

chf was just
another gale
force wind to
carry away
my boyish grin.

i'm not
wallowing in
pity,
i'm simply
fighting
with my mind to
get my smile
back again.