i feel like i’ve lost all my shine,
everything that made me feel alive
i’m alive i’m alive i’m alive
i’m all i’ve got and i’m sub-par
at best;
i don’t do anything the same anymore
and i’m so afraid i’ll never do it the same again.

i'm scared that i feel my best when i'm
pinching at my skin, piercing at my will to feel,
reeling in from the pain that brings itself
down over me and creating my own
so i feel in control;
i'm afraid i'll always want to take it in my own hands.

when really i just want to feel like everything
matters enough to title my assignments
something funny, again.