Feb 2021
TORTURED SUNLIGHT
Only remembering things that have not yet happened
I nail the dream of you
to the back of my mind
until the memory of you
bleeds & bleeds &
pleads with me
to un-dream you.
Your kiss is a shadow
tortured with sunlight.
Your touch is a page torn out & thrown away.
Your absence is a hate
I create & re-create
to torment a mind
that only remembers things that can never happen.
Only remembering things that have not yet happened
I nail the dream of you
to the back of my mind
until the memory of you
bleeds & bleeds &
pleads with me
to un-dream you.
Your kiss is a shadow
tortured with sunlight.
Your touch is a page torn out & thrown away.
Your absence is a hate
I create & re-create
to torment a mind
that only remembers things that can never happen.
***
Me dealing with( or not dealing with)a friend's suicide...I was amazed at the intense sadness and immense anger released in me and the poem reflects both those conflicting emotions. The anger I had not expected to feel...it was anger at the circumstances that brought her to this point and anger for her depriving us of her presence. Her absence was like a paper cut to the soul...sheer animal grief. I guess we all cry for ourselves as well as the person who has left us forever and left us stranded in the here of this now.
Me dealing with( or not dealing with)a friend's suicide...I was amazed at the intense sadness and immense anger released in me and the poem reflects both those conflicting emotions. The anger I had not expected to feel...it was anger at the circumstances that brought her to this point and anger for her depriving us of her presence. Her absence was like a paper cut to the soul...sheer animal grief. I guess we all cry for ourselves as well as the person who has left us forever and left us stranded in the here of this now.
