Feb 2021
What a spectacle to see
A girl who resides in a mind
divided into slices of three
and since that girl is me
I’ll tell you what it’s like
With painstaking accuracy.
One slice of my mind is currently living
In a state of past memories, weeping with joy for what I’ve had and wailing out in agony for what I’ve lost, my safety, my home, my father, my mother, my lover, my sanity my self esteem and years later my fiancée.
Slice number two is the one that claims to keep me safe but desperately wants me dead. This voice is the loudest so I most often do as it says. “Don’t eat all day, you’re much too big” “stay little, stay young”. “hunger hurts but pills work” “spend all you’re money” “cut up you’re arms and thighs” “you’re a loser and you’ll never know love again” quite convincing I cower and cry.
Slice number 3 is still bits of me, my fear of dying, wanting to be loved and cherished, being sober, getting married, having kids, and being happy. I still don’t know which slice will take me.
A girl who resides in a mind
divided into slices of three
and since that girl is me
I’ll tell you what it’s like
With painstaking accuracy.
One slice of my mind is currently living
In a state of past memories, weeping with joy for what I’ve had and wailing out in agony for what I’ve lost, my safety, my home, my father, my mother, my lover, my sanity my self esteem and years later my fiancée.
Slice number two is the one that claims to keep me safe but desperately wants me dead. This voice is the loudest so I most often do as it says. “Don’t eat all day, you’re much too big” “stay little, stay young”. “hunger hurts but pills work” “spend all you’re money” “cut up you’re arms and thighs” “you’re a loser and you’ll never know love again” quite convincing I cower and cry.
Slice number 3 is still bits of me, my fear of dying, wanting to be loved and cherished, being sober, getting married, having kids, and being happy. I still don’t know which slice will take me.
