january was cold was long was full of new experiences crying every day not used to that kind of pain i lost a friend i lost many actually but i lost someone i forgot to love and it broke me then i pushed away the people who forgot to love me the way they should have
february don't remember much i shut down i bled i swelled i burst
march the same and of course i get locked in i push myself harder than ever then i meet someone they hurt me as per usual and i meet somebody else
april he wanted to speak to me we grew close i felt better
may late night talks no labels but we have to be something more than friends because friends don't speak to each other like this there couldn't be another i have his attention
june she comes back i think he distances of course as she is beautiful and more manipulative and they were meant for each other i just didn't know it yet he drifts
july we don't speak i am heartbroken over someone who chose to let me go and not even discuss it we talk again but i can't forget how it felt to be forgotten people forget to love one another we fall off again i think not sure a lot is fuzzy he made it confusing all i know is by the time
august rolled around we were over and life burned out lost two brothers one to distance one to methods i don't prefer to discuss it broke me it all gets fuzzy again i just remember screaming and hurting and not knowing what to do with the pain inside pushing on and doing what was expected of me and oh i graduated some time back how funny the real milestones are forgotten
september i meet him he's new he's something else he's the best thing for me at the time he tries and that's more than anyone else could or would do for me this helps
october was chilly fuzzy nice we grew close it hurt but i think i've blocked all of that out
november by this time i'm sure we argued cause we did at some point i was still hurting and refused to trust him i don't still to this day to be honest but i just remember feeling too ugly to love and that is a horrible way to feel when you need someone the most
december cold chills to the bone empty holidays of course there are things to make me happy but i remember this time last year and all the things that haunted me then still haunting me now bad friends bad choices people i cared for who misused my trust and abandoned me for what not much januaryfebruary march and april i'm scared to grow up and live another year sometimes it only seems like pain is the only thing waiting for me