Letting it go it means nothing now it was so long ago. Its like a security blanket that outlived its purpose. Trying to find more purpose with meaning and be able to go numb. Feeling everything physically and mentally burned up from it all. Spiritually need to be recharged. The past can't be brought with you those days are over. Feared it would be brought up used for leverage by others. Owned up apologized still not forgiven mostly never forgotten.