staying sober is so ******* hard
and i can't ever seem to get clean.
i can go for a week tops and then it's a huge ******. i wish it were easy, i wish i wanted to be clean...but honestly it feels so ******* good and i have zero regards for anyone i hurt in the process. i dont know how to conquer this disease. it's killed me once and it almost killed me a second time and i only used more after. what do i do? rehab ******, 12 steps ****, my sponsor ******. ****. i wont last forever if i keep using, because i fell in love with fentanyl.