My eyes disguise the pain I feel
An endless spiral of self deprecating thought
Stuck in my internal hell
The worst part is everyone thinks I'm okay.

Don't be surprised when I appear hollow,
when my mind encroaches on my life
a deep sadness I find hard to escape.

To be a man of character is to have felt,
to have lived beyond the pain, learned from it

My preoccupation with feeling happy has taken away from the life I would like to live.
A life where my energies are focused on the things around me,
rather than what's inside me.

Everyone has a personal hell, and I acknowledge that.
But, mine burns hot, the kind of heat that can make your breaths short, and your body exhausted.

It will be a long and difficult journey to become who I want to be,
but it will come,
with time,
with energy,
with patience.