Jul 2013
(To:) Johnny
I once knew a boy named Johnny
We were good friends for a short time
He was my cousin’s best friend
Although they didn’t remain that way
Johnny was a gentleman
Whatever I was going through he held my hand
He made me laugh we always had fun
And from him I learned a lot of things
Like all about the softer side of the opposite ***
But he was too much too soon and I couldn’t handle it
So friends we remained for a short time
Until another man caught my eye
Johnny taught me how to kiss for him
In the dark at my aunt’s house no less
That will remain one of my cherished memories
In the dark with you listening to Usher and Alicia Keys sing “My Boo”
You loved me without guilt or shame
But I knew nothing of love then
Now I do, and I know it was you
Who comforted me after my first fight
You warned me then that Chris wasn’t right
How I wish I would’ve listened
But I didn’t
And we went our separate ways
It breaks my heart looking back on it now
What you must have been going through what you must have been feeling
All the ways I must have hurt you
All the while I was too young and naive to see
Then I got the dreaded phone call
With it came an invitation
It had been at least 3 years
Since the last time I saw you alive and well
I couldn’t handle that ugly truth
So once again, I wasn’t there for you
It breaks my heart to say that
Because you were always there for me
I can’t believe no one stopped me
So I could stop you
I can’t believe I couldn’t bring myself to see all the good in you
And then try to make you see it too
It breaks my heart to think about your end
About how lost and lonely you must have been
I should have been there and I wasn’t
I let you down time and time again
And through all that
You still considered me your friend
It is something I will always have to bear
How I let someone go who needed me
So please if you can hear me
I apologize with every single fiber of my being
I apologize
I am so sorry
So so so sorry
For not being there
For not being the person you needed me to be
The same person you always were for me
I know I let you down
I love you
I miss you
And I am so so so sorry
I always see us as those two cats on the fence
~R.I.H. Johnny~
I once knew a boy named Johnny
We were good friends for a short time
He was my cousin’s best friend
Although they didn’t remain that way
Johnny was a gentleman
Whatever I was going through he held my hand
He made me laugh we always had fun
And from him I learned a lot of things
Like all about the softer side of the opposite ***
But he was too much too soon and I couldn’t handle it
So friends we remained for a short time
Until another man caught my eye
Johnny taught me how to kiss for him
In the dark at my aunt’s house no less
That will remain one of my cherished memories
In the dark with you listening to Usher and Alicia Keys sing “My Boo”
You loved me without guilt or shame
But I knew nothing of love then
Now I do, and I know it was you
Who comforted me after my first fight
You warned me then that Chris wasn’t right
How I wish I would’ve listened
But I didn’t
And we went our separate ways
It breaks my heart looking back on it now
What you must have been going through what you must have been feeling
All the ways I must have hurt you
All the while I was too young and naive to see
Then I got the dreaded phone call
With it came an invitation
It had been at least 3 years
Since the last time I saw you alive and well
I couldn’t handle that ugly truth
So once again, I wasn’t there for you
It breaks my heart to say that
Because you were always there for me
I can’t believe no one stopped me
So I could stop you
I can’t believe I couldn’t bring myself to see all the good in you
And then try to make you see it too
It breaks my heart to think about your end
About how lost and lonely you must have been
I should have been there and I wasn’t
I let you down time and time again
And through all that
You still considered me your friend
It is something I will always have to bear
How I let someone go who needed me
So please if you can hear me
I apologize with every single fiber of my being
I apologize
I am so sorry
So so so sorry
For not being there
For not being the person you needed me to be
The same person you always were for me
I know I let you down
I love you
I miss you
And I am so so so sorry
I always see us as those two cats on the fence
~R.I.H. Johnny~
