Not sure how I feel about letting this out to the masses. I could just bury this and not have to put myself in this predicament. The more I hold it in, the more I endanger my mental health. But, I don't know how to feel about it.
I haven't really written in a long time, I don't know if this is the correct way in which I can express myself. Let alone know how to express.
I find myself in situations whereby I wish that I didn't have to cross a specific point. I find myself heavily tired of being emotionally and mentally drained by my life just so I can learn and be stronger. I find the process of life heavily tiring.
I'm probably coming off as suicidal. I apologise to anyone that I trigger It's just if I don't voice it out, I might have to pull. And I don't know if I am ready for that. To be wholly lost and fully gone.
Lately I have been feeling a lot of pressure. I've been carrying the weight of everything and everyone I treasure. So much so, I don't properly know where I am headed. Maybe towards the lights? Because being strong shouldn't be something I have to be all the time. I shouldn't be strong. I can't handle it.
There's no proper flow to this, I wish there was but like my life everything is everywhere and messy and unorganized. **** man, my twenties have me mortified.
I just wish. I don't know.
But I just wish that I didn't have to learn life like this.
It's sure as hell winning because I can't anymore. Why is everything so much.