this is something
that i just write
to tell you about
what i feel at night

inside windows
tinted
grimace
on my face
stitches
can't replace
the wound
or heal
the feel
that is still so so so so so so
very real

i want to take my feelings and drown
them in a pool
of alcohol
smoke of ****
a big puff
ecstacy
******* up my nose
til it bleeds
acid mushrooms
hallucinate
to make me feel great

it goes away

but won't this pain
won't this pain
leave with it?

trying to
hurt myself
by making myself
feel better
is the letter
i wrote to the devil

this is how i feel
this is what i do

until another day
when i meet a true
someone who can
take
me
away
from
this
place

i'll still do drugs
can't feel my face
i want to escape
i want to get out of here

i want to live a new life
i don't want to feel real

please
please
tell me
what this all means
before i **** myself