its january, barely, i think
time has been flying so much if someone told me it was april i would believe them
the days are blended by sleepless nights and disappearing days

it's hard to remember what i'm supposed to think sometimes
i say i'm ambitious but i just keep lying down
i know what i'm supposed to do, i think
but what if i don't want it
what if i don't want the 9-5 what if i don't want the debt and the stress and the pounding in my head
is everyone just lying

doing what people expect is sometimes bad
being home i fall into bad habits and i think its because of my family
they bring out an old me that i tried to get rid of
but people never really change

i think the biggest lie i was told as a kid was that i could do anything i wanted
sure
but what if i want everything
with choices there are losses and i'm losing myself

i'm working on being better but i don't know if i really am
i am scared
stay safe