Jul 2013
The rocking chair at the top of the stairs,I sat on her lap and said my prayers.
I was getting down, her arms tightened their embrace.
Then she quickly wiped her tear stained face.
I jumped down and spun around. She tried to speak but out came no sound.
I rose up on my tippy toes to kiss her cheek,” good night.”
She looked at me in my eyes... softly said,
“Everything will be alright.”
I guess I’d known -
since my first breath...
,That I would find her-
in her death.
But how could I have ever guessed-
This would be the night...
I was to become unblessed.
“Accidental overdose,” is how the paper read...
“She was found by her youngest daughter” is what the police had said.
What the news had failed to report, we’d been through this,
the month before.After she ran county corner.
I wonder what it felt like....
what went through his head-
He had just run against her-
now he was
pronouncing her dead.
Even the at the age of nine...the thought as I read it, came to mind.
I wondered why they decided to hide, any mention of those days and nights,when I remained right by her side,I prayed so hard and how I cried.
It was on the 10th day she opened her eyes. I thought my prayers had saved her life.
And I never told her how that filled me with pride....
You See-
she was furious that she hadn’t died.
Two weeks later -
they let her come home.
I race to our place to have her all to my own.
I wanted to tell her I'd never tell a soul,about the secret that I know.
It was safe with me... I wouldn't say a word, about that day and what I heard.
I imagined she hold me, riddled with guilt-
And rid my mind from the horror the thought of loosing her felt.
I cried out to her as I flung open the door. She stood there this person I’d never seen before.
She looked at me with eyes cold stone. Her sneer of that chilled me to the bone.
The words were just sounds in an evil tone. She whipped me until my cries turned to moans.
When she was done she hissed “get out of my sight.
And I did ' til she called me to her rocking chair that night.
A week and two days later... Seemed longer then.
Since then that’s who my mom has been.
It plays over and over....in my mind.
So,She killed herself one night....
And I've relived her death a million times.
I was getting down, her arms tightened their embrace.
Then she quickly wiped her tear stained face.
I jumped down and spun around. She tried to speak but out came no sound.
I rose up on my tippy toes to kiss her cheek,” good night.”
She looked at me in my eyes... softly said,
“Everything will be alright.”
I guess I’d known -
since my first breath...
,That I would find her-
in her death.
But how could I have ever guessed-
This would be the night...
I was to become unblessed.
“Accidental overdose,” is how the paper read...
“She was found by her youngest daughter” is what the police had said.
What the news had failed to report, we’d been through this,
the month before.After she ran county corner.
I wonder what it felt like....
what went through his head-
He had just run against her-
now he was
pronouncing her dead.
Even the at the age of nine...the thought as I read it, came to mind.
I wondered why they decided to hide, any mention of those days and nights,when I remained right by her side,I prayed so hard and how I cried.
It was on the 10th day she opened her eyes. I thought my prayers had saved her life.
And I never told her how that filled me with pride....
You See-
she was furious that she hadn’t died.
Two weeks later -
they let her come home.
I race to our place to have her all to my own.
I wanted to tell her I'd never tell a soul,about the secret that I know.
It was safe with me... I wouldn't say a word, about that day and what I heard.
I imagined she hold me, riddled with guilt-
And rid my mind from the horror the thought of loosing her felt.
I cried out to her as I flung open the door. She stood there this person I’d never seen before.
She looked at me with eyes cold stone. Her sneer of that chilled me to the bone.
The words were just sounds in an evil tone. She whipped me until my cries turned to moans.
When she was done she hissed “get out of my sight.
And I did ' til she called me to her rocking chair that night.
A week and two days later... Seemed longer then.
Since then that’s who my mom has been.
It plays over and over....in my mind.
So,She killed herself one night....
And I've relived her death a million times.
