I'm stuck like a baby in a manger. And like that baby i have a lot of growing to do and lot's to learn. But right now i feel a burn. A burn inside like I've never felt before. I want to know. Will it change into gold or will it change to ash. It's still burning. I'm still scared of what I'll become. Right now i trust you. But I'm afraid that I'll be hurt again like from the women before you. I see you with him. Yet you're with me. It's all happening like before. It's like deja vu. The burning. It's getting stronger now. I see her laugh with him. Now my hope is falling down. For once i wasn't alone. But now that it's all happening over again i could never feel more alone. My heart is a heart of stone. You throw it hard enough it'll break even the hardest of bone. It's how I'm feeling. I want the pain to end. I don't want to give up. I've never felt love like this before. But the pain is everlasting. Idk if it's worth it. But for now i push on. I push through the pain. She's still by him. Now that it continues i feel so much shame. Now that it continues the burning is a searing flame. I feel myself burning away. I want to isolate myself every day. I want to sleep all the time. I wish it was eternal. It's the only time and place I truly feel inner peace. Please forgive me when I'm crabby and angry. I'm burning inside. Just know I'm still pushing forward. I'm still a nice guy. Don't let my kindness fool you. I'm in pain. So stay happy and lift eachother up. Because i want to be truly happy too. It's all i have left to gain from the stain of my burning pain.