Depression for me happens slowly,
And for some reason,
Has never quite felt like drowning.

More like a rut that turns into a hole that I've slowly dug myself into.

And then I hit rock bottom and look up to see where I am..
And in those moments, I become utterly shocked at what I've done. Then it gets worse when I tell myself "there's no way out."

"Oh how tall the grave."

It feels like an overwhelmingly empty pit that I'm stuck in.

So far down, so far away..

But I can see the sky, turning from night to day, night to day.

"I'm wasting time." I say.

I also see the light though,
The light at the end of my upwards tunnel and somehow I always get out because it leads the way.

Yet I dig another.
And another..

It is exhausting.
To be so unwillingly, accidentally, repetitive.

I wonder if there will ever be a day when I'm further than 10ft under but will get so tired that I can't fight it anymore and maybe someone will look in to see a skeleton, and bury me
Once and for all.