It’s happening. The darkness. The old friend that enjoys my torment.
Driving me into my old ways.
Cuts on my wrists, thighs, shoulders.
Even work couldn’t distract me.

Failure.
Not loyal.
Ugly.
Disappointment.
Disgrace.
******.

Many more words playing in my mind.
Yes I have to destroy myself. What does it matter.
It doesn’t.
Not anymore.

I drove Gabe away only for him to die.
I drove you away only for you to be wrong.
You both never knew me at all.
All nights are shadowed by your memories.

All I can do is keep the blood flowing.
Until I can forget myself.