it is shocking that
you think it is not
shocking
muttering regrets
to me
saying you have none
to everyone else

you have a big tendency
of being the biggest
paradox i have ever encountered

i won't be waiting
for the day you realize
what you actually had said
i ask for all the strength
to push you away
when you barge in for more

payback is sometimes
the only language you speak
as well as apologies
and accusations

you look too close
don't breathe enough of it
in
before acting on it

you push on concrete
hoping somehow
you will have the strength
to shatter it
and when and if you do
you take all the cement
to fix it
only to break it again

back and forth
always a never ending game
(like ping pong)

except you always have
to be the winner
and when you are not
your language comes creeping

later on though
you will regret it

but this time i will not
care of your regrets
you're wishy washy
a hopeless romantic
(not the good kind)

little brain is racing
for all these things
to say

you want someone
mature
when you cant even
be that yourself

you are your own version
of Pandora's Box
locked away

sooner or later
someone will come along
and unlock you
just like how i did

now it is my turn
to regret

i am tired of restarting
but instead of
picking it back up again
never stopping
i will leave it

run away to the closest
state of mind where you
do not
reside