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Paint: Another Word for Carve

I will do just that until i'm nothing but art something to be admired would you like that? would you like it? do you like art? canvas paintbrush paint why are you crying about it? Relax, I have a towel, it won't get on your precious fucking clothes don't call someone. I said don't. I'm fine happens all the time just shut up help me clean. why the FUCK are you looking at me like that like I'm disgusting like I'm fucking gross.. fuck. it's just paint. taste it do you want to touch it? the paint's running off the canvas, let me get that. sorry. not a lot of people get it not a lot of people like it. you like art, don't you? do you like to paint? I've been inside your backpack. I've seen you in your hoodies. I've seen it all. don't look surprised. the little lighter in the side? i like it i wanted to light myself on fire. do you burn your art? do you burn the canvas? sometimes it's frustrating so you want to ruin it. sometimes it's okay to ruin things. Daddy ruined mommy mommy ruined you. let me see. don't scream. let me. let me fucking see. you saw mine, it's only fair, right? there. there it is. you've dug hard, yeah? do you like it? have you shown anyone else? no? they saw but you didn't want them to. the other ones reacted awfully, huh? you're lucky I'm here. I'll love you regardless, you're not a freak to me. just a bit messy. i like messy. your blood tastes nice, yknow. i want to open them wider. watch it flow. shut up. stop crying. stop. no one cares. there. not too bad. I just want to see your insides. i will know how you work. is that okay? I'll carve my name next it would look pretty, right? you do it, too, on me. we can just leave each other little messages. i love you, y'know? you don't have to worry anymore we're gonna keep each other's secrets sometimes art is a group project. no one gets to see but me. does it hurt? you'll get used to it you'll crave it. just like i do. stop sniffling, you jumping will make me mess up. you want to hurt. not die, yet, right? sometimes, when I'm alone at night or day or anywhere i paint little flowers. little smiles little words little things slut slut slut slut you do too, i saw it on your thighs. i saw the words. did that say "hate?" what do you hate. tell me. tell me it all. I'm going to find out. yknow. I've been through some shit. we all have. gotta cope some way. clean yourself up don't fucking touch me. i say when you touch me. i say. you're so soft. just grab the brush. grab the brush, do it. I'm painting. I'm painting. we're gonna paint the sky, the stars. nah, fuckin' with you. we're drawin' grass right now. see where that goes. you look shocked. stop looking. you're cute when you're afraid. relax, I'll live. i wish someone would tell me it's fucking fine. god do NOT fucking touch me. I'll kill you. I'm going to die alone. I'll pretend that I'm fine with it. I'll pretend that I'm not playing with the crippled canvas. how much until it rips in half, i wonder. sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.
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Written by
SatansLittleStalker
21 / Non-binary / Between Earth and Hell
Published
Nov 22, 2020
Lines·Words
194·585
Notes

i think that i think too much. i don't want your fucking pity, i want to fuck myself up. jesus fuck there's somethin' wrong with me.

Tags
#cutting#selfharm#depression#sadist#masochist#psycho#death#sorry#alone#paint
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