Throughout my entire life
I've constantly thirsted for approval
From those whom I love and admire
And at different stages
It was different kinds of approval
But all the while
I was always on a quest for some form of it

I think it's more of a
My first priority is to make sure you are satisfied
And if you are not
What can I do to make it so that you are content?
Because for as long as I can remember
I have always put other people's happiness before my own
And still, other's needs before my own
I've never known how to say "No" when something is asked of me
I guess a part of it is a desperate hope that sings
If I am willing to do it for someone else, someone else would surely be willing to do it for me
But most of the time that is not the case
I am always giving people
Every single person I come into contact with
The benefit of the doubt
And a lot of times I shortchange myself because of it
So I guess I need to start reminding myself
That I don't need to hold on to anyone who can't
Or won't
Have me
And I don't need to reach out to people
Who never reach out to me
I don't need to drag my feet or my heart or my body
Through glass and destruction
For anyone

Because people are not prizes
And love is not a journey's end

But most importantly
I shouldn't ever be just another milestone
Crossed off someone's list

I should be a heartbeat
A phenomenon
An endless flame