On Yehudit’s
first weekend off
from work
she met you

by the field
near the stables
arriving in her
cotton dress of green

and that raincoat
left over from school
and she said
been waiting long?

no not long
you said
although you’d been there
ten minutes or more

feeling the cold
bite into your skin
couldn’t get away
Mum wanted

this done and that
she said
leaning against
the fence

thought you might
have changed your mind
you said
why would I ?

she rubbed her hands together
to warm off the cold
said I’d be here
and I keep my word

she said
you sensed her uncertainty
the words sticking
in your mouth

we used to be closer
she said
none of this distance
between us

she knew about
you and Yiska
knew what there was
to know

the fact that Yiska had gone
made no difference
betrayal had been done  
she sat on the fence

and looked out
at the frost covered grass
you sat on the fence
beside her

her knees showed
where her dress
had risen
she had a laddered stocking

what was she like?
Yehudit asked
I mean did
she kiss good?

you looked
at the laddered stocking
flesh showed
yes she was good

you said
did she let you?
she asked
let me what?

you said
looking away
from the stocking
your eyes

meeting hers
you know let you do it?
she said
pushing the words out stiffly

as if the frost
had got to them
does it matter?
it’s history now

you said
it matters to me
she said
her voice

getting tighter
she looked
at the field
green and white

I guess it does
you said
we didn’t anyway
there wasn’t the place

or opportunity
you added
watching rooks
in the grey sky

their calls
filling the air
Yehudit looked at you
her eyes glassy

but you wanted to
she said
even if you didn’t
you breathed in

the icy air
you remembered
that you and she
had made love

in some woods
back behind you
the evening
had been warm then

flesh to flesh
heart sensing heart
I’ve met someone at work
she said

breaking through
your thoughts
I wanted you to know
not discover

and feel betrayed
you sensed a loss
bite you
a falling away

beneath your feet
I’m pleased for you
you lied
she climbed off

the fence
her feet sinking
into the frosted grass
see you around

she said
and walked off
across the field
you watched her go

sensing the cold
and the falling of snow.