An illuminated room.
Twinkling lights strung up carefully
like the constellations outside the window.
Around the two of them the essence of frailty and incense hung in the electric air.
The low hum tension sizzles.
So close, every breath shared back and forth.
Finally the silent standoff is obliterated and the outpouring of words run over a thousand times bursts forth.

"What do you think I want?
You think you have me figured out, huh?
Use that keen mind of yours and tell me what it is, you think I want from you.
A pledge of forever?
All of your attention every day?
You think I want to have you give up all of your time to me, be at my beck and call?

I want this.
I want what has been between us since we first met.
I know you're probably nervous and unsure what's going on.
I am too.
But I trust my gut.
And tomorrow might not save me.

When you know, you know, right?
This is why it seems so hard.
Undeniable.
So I'm telling you what I want.
I want you.
Simple.
I want this moment.
With you.

I want this moment and if I'm lucky I could be given another and another after this.
And maybe,
if the universe allows,
we can take those moments and string them together and something more,
something bigger can come of it.
But for now I will be grateful for this moment, here with you.

Because you mean something to me.
I care deeply about you.
You're my friend.
I love you.
And I will never regret a day of knowing you if this moment is the only one we'll ever have together.
Because that's what it is.
That's love.

And even if it scares you, you deserve to hear it.
This is my truth.
I'm not asking you to handle my feelings.
I'm not ashamed of them.
There's no need to be rash.
I'm here.
I've always been here.
For a time I've been waiting and trying to understand myself.
But it's never gone away for me.
This connection.
The chemistry swirling between us.

So now that I've given more breath with all that, when I'd rather be holding it in to kiss you until my lips went numb.
You have a choice.
You can either clam up and push me away.
Or you can pull me in...
And kiss me..."



*©NDHK