She held me to her chest like I was the child she had just lost
As if I was cold and vacant and lifeless as a broken puppet
She held me as if she'd live to see me buried six feet out of her arms reach
As If she'd have to pick music for me one last time
And knowing it would fall cold on deaf ears.
She held me like she had everything to lose
She held me like an apology
Like the ruby lining on my wrists
And cried for all the memory held in salt cuts
And I remember
I shook and I shook and I shook
Like a fragile bird nearly crushed by the weight of
Some unknown Force
Too late
Much too soon
And it wouldn't stop throbbing
I wasn't drowning anymore
Not cold but alive and breathing and burning and
Dear heavens, feeling.
Feeling her hands cup the nape of my neck and hold my head to hers
Feeling her shake and mouth endless apologies of love to my ear
Feeling her face ***** up in agony at the sight of what I'd done to myself
Ripped my flesh to ribbons
And it felt like I was home
She held me like it would be her last