I long for affection from my peers
But this fortress I've built prevents me from getting close
because of this I'm the loneliest person i know
melancholy still envelops me every second
parts of me fight to step out of my fortress
but the pain of the ones I've loved the most
holds me instead

Id like to say I'm over it
Its nothing but a distant memory but id be lying
I think about it everyday
it replays like a broken projector I'm forced to watch
Strapped down to these theatre seats
My tears staining my face forever

I ache for their touch to be held close
to feel that warmness only another body can provide
Neurotic might as well be my first name
You can tell just by looking at me
                 I'm crawling in my skin                                                    
I will not let you in ever again
  maybe that's the saddest part
I cant forgive you
                    not any of you.
I might have created this façade that I am whole again but
I'm the best actress in this tragedy
its almost comical how I've attempted to sweep everything under the rug
Part of me demands justice
     the other just wants silence to all of these repetitive thoughts
Anguish devours me constantly but
   disassociation is my game
I'm not sure how long i can play
My patients is wearing thin
no longer wanting to deal with this because there is NO solution but to forget
to forget is impossible
  So I remain incredibly alone.