I had never expected roses
or the tenderness
reserved for
lovers
But I never anticipated
rough hands
that pushed and pulled,
an unwanted pain
deep inside
my body
Hot water not hot enough
to scrub your touch
away
Bruises like hickeys,
i can feel you
pushing
inside
Your hot breath in my ear
asking if I liked it
A broken yes
sounds like a moan
but I’m crying
You think it’s from ecstasy
I’m shaking,
you go faster
thinking I’m having fun
You like it
being bigger than me
being stronger
I’m afraid
your bigger
your stronger
When it was over
you told me I was lucky
“Most girls don’t ****** when they first lose their virginity”
A shaky smile, on my mascara streaked face
skin crawling, my shaking legs
near collapse
Fear
The hot water is cold