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Aspen Dec 2020
How many times
can i write
the exact same thing
In so many words,
they mean nothing
at all
The underlying message,
always the same.
Iโ€™m losing
the war inside my mind.
Aspen Oct 2020
I had never expected roses
or the tenderness
reserved for
But I never anticipated
rough hands
that pushed and pulled,
an unwanted pain
deep inside
my body
Hot water not hot enough
to scrub your touch
Bruises like hickeys,
i can feel you
Your hot breath in my ear
asking if I liked it
A broken yes
sounds like a moan
but Iโ€™m crying
You think itโ€™s from ecstasy
Iโ€™m shaking,
you go faster
thinking Iโ€™m having fun
You like it
being bigger than me
being stronger
Iโ€™m afraid
your bigger
your stronger
When it was over
you told me I was lucky
โ€œMost girls donโ€™t ****** when they first lose their virginityโ€
A shaky smile, on my mascara streaked face
skin crawling, my shaking legs
near collapse
The hot water is cold
Aspen Oct 2020
This aching
it eats me
Even when there
is nothing left
It eats away at the nothingness
until I am nothing
Aspen Sep 2020
There are no words
to describe the way I can feel
so empty
so full
In this one body
It feels like
there is no limit to it all
No limbo
Only free space
for this hole inside of me
To grow
  Sep 2020 Aspen
Making love, you don't

care about blood, it is sweet โ€“

that I am your prey.
Collection "Without reserve"
Aspen Sep 2020
And by making an enemy of my body,
I found true peace
In destroying it.
Aspen Sep 2020
To feel my heart shatter
in the very center of my chest,
pain so strong
I fall to my knees.
The void, he laughs in my face.ย ย 
โ€œno, just this once. let it stay,โ€
I begged.
Only a second, I felt nothing again.
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