Each year I promise
Promise that this one will be better than the last
That it will be different
There will be a change.
I will be the one who will drop the pebble in the water
To cause all the positive ripples.
Yet when it comes to the time
Someone knocks the pebble out of my hand onto the land.
Usually it's anxiety sometimes depression
Other times it's  ID
I keep waiting to give myself hope
But all I give
Is the hopeful betrayal
Which always leads to denial