one moment
im fine
the next
im overwhelmingly
dizzy
nauseous
disgusted

it isn't a choice
it's a blackout
i cant feel my fingers
i cant feel anything

just
that it all
needs to come
out

like if it doesn't
it'll **** me

i have to
𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥
to be thinner

i hate it
so much
i hate the retching
i hate the need
the urgency

i hate the fact
that my brain will no longer
allow
me to keep down
one can of soda

i hate myself
and i need every last drop
out