Smile,
Look nice,
Wear makeup,
They tell me.

Talk to friends,
Talk to Strangers,
Talk to us,
They tell me.

Eat quietly,
Be generous,
Serve others,
They tell me.

But what if I am not okay?
Makeup can't hide what is inside.
Maybe others won't see it,
But I can't escape.
I can't escape the emptiness.
The pain.
The longing.
Longing to belong,
To be loved,
To love.

So I get down on my knees.
And after prayer,
I know I belong
I am loved.
I love.

And so in truth,
I smile.
I look nice,
But not of my own doing.
My joy is not from me.
My joy is showing through the cracks.
The cracks formed by heartbreak,
Betrayal,
And loss.

But those cracks,
They enable the treasure inside to shine out.
So that all around can see,
I belong in Christ,
I am loved by my Savior,
And I love Him.