oh.
i am now
just remembering
why i want to die so much
right this second.

it is
3:46am
June 22nd
2013
and two years ago
on the dot
at this moment
i was listening to my mother
stuff clothes from the baskets in the hallway
into black plastic garbage bags
and i was staring at the light spilling out from under my door
and thinking
why
is
the
light
on

...but i never
got up
to see
and i will spend
my entire life
hating myself
for it
because my mother
was in the hall
leaving
me

i cannot
write anything more
because it hurts
too much
someone please
****
me