I follow the droppings-dappled sheep trails of Exmoor, veering right toward the hills. A ***** white flock nuzzles the close-cropped ground, but gnaws only humid air. In the dim light of evening, a presence looms on the uneven horizon: the world of my future and former selves, fitfully revealed and obscured, first liberated from, then confined to the clinging veil of illusion that clutches the dark English countryside, legacy of my birth.
I detect through the flattened corona of the monarch moon outlines of a troupe of Shakespearean ghosts tottering my way. Revealed and obscured, like questions in Hamlet's tragedy, they mime the news of my heritage and inheritance: sin and ambition, deception and pride. Emptiness reigns within me like a ruthless queen, ****** and shorn, painted an otherworldly white: Elizabeth.
All this once would have been enough, but the soaked smell of sheep reminds me I am still alone. No one comes to England for solace or comfort. Yet the recipe for lasting identity, for a significance of self, abides in the dark hills of Exmoor, launched from sodden sheep trails, trammeled by a gaggle of ghosts who juggle the jewels of Elizabeth's crown, sparkling in fog before me.