I internalise everything

If you don't know what that means

Why are you asking
Do you think I am faking
Do you think I am overreacting
Do you think I am weak


Do you know how it feels
to receive a bungee cord
as a present
and read it as
Hang yourself

I wish I didn't

I wish I could hear
I love you
Stay
and not see
You annoy me
Go away

I wish I could
feel your kisses
and not hear my thoughts
shout for your thoughts

Why am I here?!

I love you
I'm sorry
I love you

Is what I say
When I ask
a million times
Are you ok?

I love you
don't leave yet
I love you

Is what I mean when I say
I internalise everything